Speaking on Controlling Others

Is Your Attitude in Control?


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Are You In Control?

Have you ever misused your power in a way that disabled your relationships or other opportunities?

Until I adjusted, with the help of bio feedback, to the consequences of my disabling crash and saw my possibilities, I had such an angry and resentful Attitude that the only control I had was the power to push people out of my life.

This negative power should be used with discretion.

My problem was that my disability resulted in actual physical damage to my head. And, as luck would have it, impaired my judgement and thereby my ability to use this negative power only when wise, which is almost never.

I can’t remember all the people and the various opportunities I pushed out of my life. I didn’t want to push them out. In fact, pushing them out made me feel terrible. So bad, in fact, that I’d do the best I could to track them down and apologize. I got so good at apologizing that I actually gave up trying to control what I said and just apologized a lot.

Control Your Attitude

The problem with this is that we all enjoy having friends. And no matter how smooth we get at apologizing, many people won’t be able to forget the thing being apologized for. Oh, they say they forgive us. They  assure us that they understand the medical reasons behind why we erupted like an emotional volcano. I’m sure they do forgive us, but everybody has enough drama in their life. Nobody’s looking to take on more unpleasantness.

And so, next time they have a choice where to spend their time, where do you suppose they’ll spend it? Would you rather spend time on a battlefield or in a sanctuary?

Bio Feedback Control

Disability or no disability, excuses, reasons and justifications get old and even the nicest people get tired of hearing them. Which is why I was extremely grateful a fellow speaker and doctor of psychology became a close friend who did a series of bio feedback sessions on me.

What a blessing! Bio feedback gave me back my ability to interact and maintain a calm and relaxed disposition. The most damaging aspect of my disability was no longer in how I behaved. Years of traditional counseling didn’t help. How could it? By the time I’d realize I better use the strategies I was learning, my episode would be over.

Friends are the most important result of my having Bio Feedback. Friends are the most important things we can have, both in good times and in hard times.

Something my grandpa used to say emphasizes the importance of being  friendly and helpful, “Honey will draw more flies than vinegar.

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