Speaking about Belief Overcoming Grief

Belief Overcomes Grief

Wayne Being Goofy

Have you ever gone from an easily accepted place of believing your a valuable winner to an unacceptable place of believing you’re worthless? How did you get yourself out of the disabling negativity associated with believing you’re worthless? How did you begin seeing yourself as a winner?

In hindsight, I believe the process started early in my recovery as I passed through the first three of the seven stages of grief. The Shock/Denial—Pain/Guilt—Anger/Bargaining stages are kind of a blur. My mind didn’t reengage until I was firmly on the fourth stage: Depression/ Loneliness. As long as I focused on rebuilding my life, I couldn’t get past this stage.

Attitude Coaches

Sounds odd to say that I was trying too hard, but I couldn’t get past feeling depressed and lonely until I quit focusing on myself and my goals.

Wayne's the Man

I believe my visits back to the Depression/Loneliness stage are brief and seldom because I have Attitude coaches, as many as possible. They help me believe in my value.

For years, my main Attitude Coach has been Wayne who had a motorcycle crash a few years after I had my 1980 crash. I visit Wayne in the long term nursing facility where he lives. Wayne is completely immobile. He can’t talk. He eats through a tube to his stomach.

Wayne can smile, and Wayne can move one hand. We play blackjack, have one sided conversations, listen to concerts in the cafeteria where we play bingo and other games. Wayne sees me and smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen. When I visit Wayne, I’m helping him by giving him some variety and some positive interaction. Wayne is a great example of how powerful an attitude of acceptance is. Wayne is my Attitude Coach.

What You Believe Matters

Do you believe yourself to be a kind and helpful person? The more kind and helpful I become, the easier my rehab journey is and the more valuable I believe myself to be. The more valuable I believe myself to be, the happier I become.

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Winners Don't Quit Association
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