The Beginning of Change
Things suddenly, violently changed. Time lay cut in two, like with a meat cleaver, growing up years slashed from adult years. Neatly divided into two unequal parts. The before and after. Initial changes opened the door to years of gradual monotonous changes that required still other changes.
If any readers have trauma based changes to share, here would be a place. No detailed trauma stories please, just lessons learned and changes made. The larger the group, the firmer we stand.
The first change I had to make, or got to make, was admitting I needed help. Admitting we need help involves humbling ourselves. The truth is that humbling oneself is easier than it sounds. There are countless groups for people experiencing challenging changes. In addition to support groups for accident survivors and cancer victims and the like. There are countless 12 step groups for folks who may have played a more active role in creating the challenges they face.
Life altering changes, the kind of changes that are challenging to get over, fall into one or more of three categories:
If one of these three is changing, life can be challenging. If any two are changing, life can be incredibly difficult. If all three are changing, it can be devastating. Life can seem unlivable.
All three happened to me, at the same time. A motorcycle crash left me brain damaged and half paralyzed (Health). I couldn’t work, nobody’s hiring physically handicapped roofers (Money). The lady I’d known for years and been engaged to marry since a few weeks prior to my crash left me within a year of my crash (Relationship)
This required me to make permanent adjustments in order to adapt to limits I had never experienced. These new limits taught me new techniques and strategies to overcome them.
To see how I have dealt with life challenges and other changes in positive and productive ways, and maybe get some ideas to help yourself adjust to your changes. read my book Achieving NO LIMITS, Embracing Change or have me share my ideas with your students or group. If neither learning what mistakes to avoid and shortcuts to take in the positive environment of a public event or in the solitude of reading a good book appeals to you, my prayers for you are that you have an easier rehab than the beginning years of mine happened to be.