Be You…In Spite of the Elephants in the Kitchen
The challenge of being you…
For some people the elephant in the kitchen is obvious for all to see.
Some people who don’t suffer a physical disability or some other evident oddity have ‘disabilities’ on the inside. They have invisible disabilities.
Perhaps they live in fear of being rejected because of who they are, or who they believe they are, or are not. Maybe they live in shame for what they’ve done.
My elephant was my mental and physical abilities, or lack thereof. Even after my motorcycle crash, I looked normal and healthy, as long as I didn’t try to move or talk. I lived with a constant fear of rejection.
The shame of my visible elephant, my physical disability, reinforced by how my head injury impacted my thoughts and emotions, my invisible disability, kept me from making and keeping close friends.
I had two choices either try and hide my elephant or share. And I have found that talking about and sharing ‘my elephants’ – my fears, concerns, set backs and triumphs allows others to share their elephants with me. Share your elephant either as a comment below or on facebook.
Sharing what scares and excites us connects us with fellow human beings at a deep level. Once shared, you can laugh more at what was once a fear. Then our elephant becomes tame and we can use it to help us be who we are.
Elephants are big animals. They don’t like living in cramped conditions, so try setting your elephant free. Self help groups prove that bringing your elephant out of the kitchen and talking about it to someone who has their own elephant really helps you both. At first that can sound scary. Admit that you’re scared.
If you’re too scared to bring your elephant out, what scares you? If you’re ashamed to chat with people you know, then visit different GA, AA, NA or Alonon groups, or any group that offers the type of support you want. Chat away on Twitter or Facebook, I’m happy to listen. Try it, a happier more fulfilled life awaits.
Fear of Others
Do you ever worry about what other people think?
Let me ask you. How much time do you spend thinking about your friend? Of course we love seeing our friends and enjoy chatting with them. But we have so much going on in our own lives that unless our friends are going through a major trauma we don’t think about what they’re thinking.
Isn’t it possible that’s it’s the same for them? They are likely to have so much going on in their lives that they don’t have the time (or the inclination) to spend what spare time they do have thinking about what you’re thinking. So be who you are truly meant to be.
“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?” – Fanny Brice
Al is a Motivational Speaker who will delight, entertain and inspire your audience. Contact him for your next event.