Do you give away your authority?
Fear wants to be our authority, but we don’t have to let it.
Thirty years ago, during my initial years of rehabilitation, my biggest authority (disability) wasn’t my paralyzed arm or leg or my inability to control my bladder, or even my speech impairment. My biggest disability was my constant fear of what other people thought of me. It took years to figure out that my fear of what others thought was my biggest disability. It took me a few more years to realize that, in most cases, what other people think of me is none of my business. .
While relearning to walk, I fell a lot. I couldn’t do much to keep gravity from being my authority, but
why did I persist in letting what other people might think have such a disabling affect on my state of mind? I didn’t really know what people thought of me, but I gave my authority to my fear of what they might think of me. I let fear decide how I felt about other people and about myself.
I didn’t understand, until rehab psycho therapy made it clear, that my fear was a reaction to my feelings of resentment, self pity and insecurity. Once I started to realize that these feelings pushed away the healthy relationships I wanted, I worked on improving how I felt about myself. This is when things began to improve for me.
Self Comfort Rocks
Resentment, self pity, insecurity and their resulting fear played a large role in creating how I felt about myself, but my priorities and values played an even bigger role. As I’ve become increasingly comfortable with my disability, my priorities and values have changed.
As I become increasingly concerned about the comfort of others, I worry less and less about what others think me.
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