Eliminating Bullying Behavior
As I asked in a previous post Bully Proof, what do Bullies want? That’s easy, what do you want? Bullies want what you and everybody else does. They want to feel good about themselves by receiving the three A’s.
The biggest difference between bullies and people who are easier to be around is what bullies are willing to do to get what they want. Their willingness to make themselves feel better by making someone else feel worse, pleasure at the expense of others, is the main problem with bullies. One key to defeating bullying behavior is to give bullies what they want. If people get what they want without bullying others, and if they’re part of a supportive community that rewards positive interaction and discourages negative interaction bullying behavior will lessen.
An anti-bully community provides its members with positive attention and acceptance. Being in an accepting environment nurtures feelings of self acceptance. Once a person accepts themselves, it’s easier to accept others. Accepting oneself is the key to the kingdom. The kingdom of self satisfaction and peace of mind.
It’s like we’re all born with a book of blank pages. It’s up to us to fill in what the pages will say, but whether the cover is a leather, gold embossed hardback or a cheaply glued paperback is something we either accept or fight against. The cover of the book represents the talents, intelligence and other resources we are born with. Accepting the cover with which we are born, accepting ourselves and our limitations, empowers us with three things.
· Freedom from the need to prove ourselves to others.
· An attitude of acceptance toward others.
Bully Free Environments
It all begins with attitudes of acceptance of self and others. Bullies were obviously not born with this attitude. Although the original intention of schools is to teach the 3R’s, Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic, the 3R’s are taught and learned more easily in an environment that includes Acceptance, Attention and Appreciation, so classes in these three qualities may be a helpful part of the curriculum.
Positive attention is a natural result of accepting oneself and others. Like a rolling snowball gathers more snow, a person who experiences acceptance and positive attention will do and say things that are appreciated. And there you have the three anti bully A’s. It all starts with Acceptance.